We thought that the problems Willie Rioli encountered when asked to submit an urine sample for an ASADA test in late August were the type that only those of the older set are familiar, but according to reports, he was unable to get things going for more than three hours and resorted to pouring a sports drink into his sample jar.
We do not know for certain what brand of sports drink he used or what flavour, although one of the most popular and oldest would fool us for both colour and taste.
Not to say we know what urine tastes like, but if it is anything near to the sports drink we have in mind, rest assured that we would never test positive for it.
Now, Rioli, already under the potential of a four-year ban for that incident, now finds himself under another cloud when he turned in a positive for cannabis.
We ourselves know for a fact, strictly hearsay, that cannabis supplies little in the way of performance enhancing, but it is still regarded with a level of hysteria that is hard to imagine.
Did Rioli leave his home in NT for some WA grass?
Get back, Willie, get back. Get back to where you once belonged.
He made just 14 appearances for West Coast during the Toyota 2019 AFL Premiership competition, but we doubt it had anything with his being too stoned to find the ground.
Performance enhancing substances are the bane of sports and no athlete should be tempted to use them in order to deep level with the cheaters, but as we have seen time and again, the cheaters are often a step or two ahead of the enforcers.
Forget what we said earlier about shy bladders. We would be delighted if we could go three hours without five trips to the loo, which may serve as evidence of our innocence, or may point to the need for us to undertake some sort of testing.
The Eagles were tight lipped about the matter, but in their statement, it did not seem as though they were speaking with breaths held.
Chill, ASADA. Testing the winners should be the priority, but focus on actual performance enhancing substances and maybe you can eliminate, or at least keep pace with, the true cheaters.